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NaNoWriMo Day 30: Challenge Completed!


It’s been a long month.  On November 1st, 2016, I started to write the most challenging writing project I’ve ever tried.  I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough material to fill all 30 days, and I was partially right, but I worked it out.  50,000 words was the goal to complete the challenge of NaNoWriMo, but I don’t consider it a victory unless I am able to finish the novel.  I surpassed that goal, finished the novel, and even had some time to do a little editing.  Faithful readers of The Paradigm, I have written a novel in 30 days!

National Novel Writing Month was a huge challenge for me this year.  It was difficult, but I have achieved victory.

Struggles of a Modern Vampire may be finished, but it’s still only a vomit draft, it needs some tender loving care.  It needs a scalpel and come vodka.  It needs to be polished, shined, and reworked again before it’s a beautiful gem.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever give this novel any extra attention.  This may simply be a “learning curve” project that I’m going to file away.  But, who knows?  Maybe one day I’ll pull it out of its metaphorically dusty file folder on my computer and work on it some more.  Only time will tell.  It was a hard project just because of all the new things I tried with it, but I’m glad I made the attempt.  I feel like I’ve grown because of it.

I want to take a moment to thank God for giving me endurance for this year’s project.  I want to thank my family, friends, and my readers.  Thank you for all the encouragement, advice, and sticking with me to the end.

Here is this year’s winner’s certificate:


I have a lot more ideas in my head for future writing projects I would like to work on.  I am still pursuing publication for Written in Silence.  I may start looking into small presses.  The future’s bright; lit with possibilities.

The Stats for Struggles of a Modern Vampire

Here are the final stats on my 2016 NaNoWriMo project:

Title: Struggles of a Modern Vampire

Genre: Urban Fantasy/Humor

Words: 69,828

Chapters: 33

Pages: 268 (that’s in Microsoft Word, double spaced, 12 point New Times Roman font)

What I learned this year: I learned that I’m not that great at writing urban fantasy or humor, honestly.  I also learned a lot about going out of my comfort zone.  I tried a genre I’ve never written before, about a subject matter I’ve never written before, and used more of a point of view I don’t normally use.  Overall, this whole project was new to me and a decent challenge.

I want to say thank you to everyone who stuck with me and encouraged me this month!  You rock at life!

Until next time,

Andrew Ronzino, A Man Who Wrote a Novel in 30 Days

Challenge Completed


NaNoWriMo Day 23: The Conclusion is Coming

NaNoWriMo Jounrnal 2014

I have some really great news, I reached 70,000 words today!  That’s really exciting for me.

The conclusion of the story is in sight.  I only have a few more scenes planned, so within the next week I should be finishing True Automaton.  But it’s not just the conclusion of a novel written for NaNoWriMo this year, it’s the conclusion of a three year long project resulting in a steampunk trilogy.  I’m kind of sad that it’ll be ending soon, but at the same time, I’m looking forward to moving on to something new next year.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going watch bloopers from “The Office” on YouTube…because…shut up.

Current word count for True Automaton: 72,068/50,000!

Until the morrow,

Andrew Ronzino, Assistant to the Regional Manager


NaNoWriMo Day 19: Meet Tanya Stentov

So far, I have introduced two of the three main characters of Deus Ex Machina.  There’s the primary protagonist, Saul Deus; and the secondary protagonist, Xandria Jopp.  But now I want you to meet the third main character, Tanya!  She is a view point character for several chapter, and is a clockwork engineer like Saul is.  Just like with Saul and Xandria, this is a very long character profile condensed to just a few main points that you may find interesting.

Meet Tanya Stentov, one of the secondary protagonists of Deus Ex Machina!

Meet Tanya Stentov

Name: Tanya Rose Stentov

Nickname: Nya (by her father)

Age: 23

Hair: Blonde, curly, often worn loose

Skin: Caucasian

Favorite color: Green

Favorite Music: Strings

Food: Beef Stroganoff

Likes: Clockwork machines, clocks, gears and cogs, steam power, big and powerful machines, tinkering with new ideas, Deus Clockwork, Saul Deus (secretly, and without even realizing it)

Dislikes: People who disagree with her when it comes to matters she’s passionate about, electric power, chicken, Nauticals/seaships, swimming, alcohol

Most prized possession: A clockwork schematic she designed for something brand new, she has never shown it to anyone

Why?: It’s the first clockwork she designed completely by her self, but she doesn’t think it’s good enough

Personality flaws: Sharp tongue, always needs to be correct, argumentative

Personality strengths: Observant, trusting, diplomatic

Tanya grew up just outside of Moscow, Russia.  She is a third generation clockwork engineer, and the the daughter of the famous Russian clockwork engineer, Nikolai Stentov, who is the owner of Stentov Engineering.  Her grandfather, Ivan Stentov created Stentov Engineering. She loves clockwork just as much as the rest of her family, maybe even more so, but she thinks lowly on her skills as as clockwork engineer.  In truth, she’s good, but she sees herself as only a shadow of her father’s greatness, and she intends to one day step out from beyond that shadow and make a name for herself.  She has a great command of the English language due to taking it in school, and because she went to Oxford University to learn clockwork.

When she was thirteen, she met the famous American clockwork engineer, George Deus, and his son, Saul.  Mr. Deus came to Russia to work on something with her father, and Saul tagged along.  They lived with the Stentovs for a month.  She learned that Saul had quite a passion for clockwork just like his father, and  she developed a crush on the American clockwork maker’s son.  When he left, the feelings never really went away, though she didn’t realize it.  And she never saw him again.  Though her father is the owner of Stentov Engineering, she became the head engineer, and only answers to her father when she is stumped. 

* * *

There you have it, I shall continue to have more info on other aspects of the story throughout November!

Current word count for Deus Ex Machina: 52,803/50,000!

Until tomorrow night,

Andrew Ronzino, a Reader

NaNoWriMo Day 11: Characters

As I promised yesterday, I will give you some insight into the characters Lizzy and I have developed for our NaNoWriMo project, The Pharaoh.  Now, when we decided that we wanted to do a story set in ancient Egypt, and that it would be a Beauty and the Beast-like story, we decided to go ahead and flesh out the two protagonists prior to November 1st so we would know them, their personalities, goals, likes/dislikes, and all that good stuff.  So we worked on it for a month or so.  Come November 1st, we were ready to begin writing.  For the sake of ease, I will only be sharing our two main characters, Husn and Seti.  Just so you know, Lizzy developed Husn, and I developed Seti.  Also bare in mind that we’re not done writing the story, so this is just some of the info on them that we have currently.

Husn, the Beauty

We’ll start with Husn and how she got her name.  Once we knew what we wanted, I started looking around the internet (created by Al Gore, of course) for ancient Egyptian names.  Sure enough, I found a site that had them under baby names.  I was looking through their small selection and I found the name Husn, which, in ancient Egyptian, meant “Beauty”.  I said to myself, “No way that just happened.”  I show it it Lizzy right away, and she loved it.  We had our Belle!

Husn is in her early 20’s and she is an oracle priestess for the ancient Egyptian god Wadjet.  She has lived her whole life in the temple, and she is believed to be an oracle, though she has no true gift of seeing visions and whatnot.  She is a total faker…but a good one.  She is called upon to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams, which she does, making up everything she says.  Her greatest fear is that people, including the king, will learn that she’s not a true oracle.  She needs to find a way to get past Seti’s shell and reach the soft heart he has inside.

Seti, The Beast

This section may be longer…because this is my blog, and Seti is my character. Instead of starting with the name, I’ll explain how Seti like the Beast.  In our story, Seti used to be the ancient Egyptian god Set.  Set (sometimes called Seth, or Setesh), is the god of desert, storms, darkness, and chaos.  He has the body of a man, and the head of a creature we now call the “Set-Animal“.  He is called this because Set was an unknown creature.  The head had a mixture of many different animals.  He was an unknown beast.  This was the reason why I chose Set.  Set angered one of the other goddesses and he was cast down into the earth to live life as a human until he changed and earned his godhood again.  He was born to Pharaoh Ramesses.  He was given the name Seti and he forgot his past life as a god.  The only thing from his past life he has are his vexing dreams.  But he doesn’t know what they mean.

Now for the name.  It’s obvious why I chose Set…but why a real Pharaoh?  When I sat down to write the Pharaoh character, I was going to make up a name and just use a fictional Pharaoh.  But then I thought about it, I thought it would be cool to use a real Pharaoh from history.  So, research began.  I did a lot of reading, and watched a lot of documentaries, and found my Pharaoh.  Seti I, father of Ramesses II (AKA Ramesses, the Great).  He was a famous Pharaoh and did a lot of great things…he also built one of the deepest burial temples.  The reason why I chose Seti is because his name means “Of Set”.  He was dedicated to the god Set.  So it was fitting.  Set the god becomes Seti the man.  It’s the beast…in reverse!

Seti is a cold hearted Pharaoh, nasty, mean.  He is vexed and plagued by dreams that he does not know the meaning of.  When he has had enough, he calls on the services of Husn to tell him what his dreams mean.  Later, Husn will help him become a better person, and a better Pharaoh.  She will tame the beast inside of him…and by the end he will regain his godhood.  Become Set again, and make Husn his goddess queen.  At least, that’s the plan.  We’ll see how the story shapes out.

So there, you have it, those are the protagonists for The Pharaoh!  There’s more details, but I don’t want to bore you.

Current word count for The Pharaoh: 32,135/50,000

Until next time,

Andrew Ronzino, That One Guy Who Did That One Thing That One Time

New Look

The Paradigm now has a new look.  Tell me what you think.  I’m going to try to update more often, as well as maybe share some of my writings, this is not a promise though.  Have a great day, and I’ll see you soon!


Twilight Vs. Roswell

“Twilight Vs. Roswell: A Comparison Review”

By Andrew Ronzino

We all know about the Twilight craze. In 2005 Stephenie Meyer wrote a mediocre novel about a sparkling vampire, and teenage girl’s obsession with said vampire; now, Twilight is a huge sensation. However, what most people don’t know about is that in 1999 there was a TV show that aired on the WB called Roswell. Now when you compare the three season TV show with Twilight, you will find that they are extremely similar. And it makes me wonder if Stephenie Meyer got her inspiration from the show. I would like to show the similarities between these two stories.

Let me start off by saying that I have never read the Twilight novels, I will be basing this comparison from the movies, which I have been told are fairly accurate to the books. Also, I have a nostalgic connection to Roswell, as I watched it when I was a teenager. I have no meaningful connection to Twilight whatsoever, so if I seem bias, that’s because I am. Also, let me just come right out and make myself perfectly clear, I hate Twilight, I think it’s stupid. However, because this is a comparison review that really doesn’t matter. One last thing before we begin, the stories aren’t exactly the same, there are a lot of differences. The plots, for example, are very different. But where they’re similar, they’re VERY similar! Also, you may hear some stuff repeated over and over again, that’s because these things keep happening over and over again!

Just so you know, this entire review contains spoilers.

Let us begin. And we shall do so by examining our main characters.

Liz Parker and Bella Swan

Liz Parker, the female protagonist of Roswell, grew up in Roswell, New Mexico her whole life, and is quite used to the alien motif that surrounds the town. Bella Swan, the female protagonist of Twilight, moves to Forks, Washington to live with her father.

Liz and Bella are very similar in personality. Well, similar in the sense that they have NO personality. Both Liz and Bella are complete Mary Sues. Two perfect girls, with somewhat perfect lives, who live in small towns and have no real flaws; boring and bland. They even look somewhat similar; short and brunette. Both don’t want to live where they live, and can’t wait until they’re old enough to move out and get on with their bland lives.

Both girls fall in love with a “complicated guy” at the drop of the hat, and become completely obsessed with him. One is an alien freak named Max Evans, and the other is a sparkling vampire named Edward Cullen. Both girls monologue about their lives, Bella does this through narration at the beginning of each movie. Liz does this at the beginning of each episode while she writes in her journal. This only happens in the first season, there are only a few episodes in the second and third seasons where he does this.

Both girls are misunderstood and “complicated”, and find themselves in strange relationships with their freakish boyfriends. The girls of each story become engrossed with the issues that surround their vampire/alien guys and their vampire/alien associates. Both Liz and Bella go though the whole “I love you, and you love me, but we can’t be together because your and vampire/alien” thing. Liz is willing to throw normal life away to be involved with Max and his world, and Bella is willing to throw her normal life away to be involved with Edward and his world. Both girls are willing to let other people and friends be hurt and even die for their desire to be involved with their men. The are both fought over my two guys. Some of these thing will be talked about in greater detail in later segments of this review.

Needless to say, Liz Parker and Bella Swan are almost the same in every regard.

Max Evans and Edward Cullen

Max Evans, the male protagonist of Roswell, is an alien from some distant world who crash landed on Earth in 1947 with his sister, Isabel (played by Katherine Heigl, that’s right, THE Katherine Heigl…hot!), friend, Michael (the guy who looks like Edward, but we’ll get to that later), and Tess, who they find later on. Edward Cullen, the male protagonist of Twilight, is a vampire who was turned in 1918, moved around a lot, and it currently settling in Forks with his vampire family, called a coven.

Both boys are younger than they should be. Max, though his ship crashed in 1947, he is only sixteen in the first season of Roswell. This has to do with the fact that he, Isabel, Michael, and Tess were in some kind of pod things, and they hatched out of the pods in 1983, looking like normal six-year-old human children. He does age normally, but still, if they crashed in 1947, and the show takes place in 1999, he should be older. All hail the teen drama! Edward, a normal kid, I guess, was turned into a vampire in 1918 when he was seventeen. This makes him over one hundred years old (as the movie takes place in 2005…I think). Why does he want a seventeen-year-old-girl?! I don’t know, but pedophilia seems to be okay with vampires. Also, if he was seventeen when he was turned, and is stuck at that age, why not say he’s 18 and get to stay out of school. Vampire or not, I would not want to be in high school for one hundred years!

Both Max and Edward are major creepers. For example, both guys like to stare at the girls they find attractive. Edward is always staring at Bella and it’s very creepy. Max always stares at Liz, and it’s very creepy. Both girls seem to stare back, creating this awkwardness that the viewers have to endure. One of the very first lines in the pilot episode of Roswell is spoken by Liz’s best friend Maria, and she says, “Max Evans is staring at you again.” In the opening credits of the show, half of the shots during the song is of Max and Liz just staring at each other! Edward, on the other hand stares at Bella constantly, he never seems to stop. If he’s not doing vampire stuff, he’s doing stalker stuff! How is it that these girls find this appealing and, in fact, makes them want the guys even more? It’s so backwards!

Both boys are bland and have hardly any personality. Take a look at the pictures above. See the expression on Max’s face? That is his expression 98% of the time, and that is NOT an exaggeration. I just finished watching three seasons of Roswell, that look was on his face all the time. He smiles every now and then, and on rare occasions he’s look shocked about something. And the look on Edward’s face in that picture is also how he looks most of the time. Granted, he smiles more than Max does, but in retrospect, Roswell was much longer than Twilight, so in reality they smiled about the same amount of time on screen. These guys can’t seem to display emotions!

They also seem to have a desire to always be around their girl, to the point of obsession, but I’ll touch on that in greater detail later. Max Evans is an alien with powers, and Edward Cullen is a vampire with powers, but they are almost the same in all things but their origins and race.

The Day They Met

In both Roswell and Twilight, we have a moment where the story’s main characters meet. We are going to take some time to explore how love at first sight happens in these works of art.

In Roswell, it is mentioned that Liz and Max met in third grade, but they never really spoke to each other until the start of the show, so for the sake of this review, that is what we’ll look into, because we never see the third grade meeting. Liz grew up in Roswell and now, at sixteen, works at her father’s restaurant called “The Crashdown” (It’s Roswell, New Mexico…everything is alien themed), gets shot when a couple of patrons get into an argument about something not important to the story. One of these disgruntled men pulls out a gun and they fight over it, the gun goes off, and Liz gets shot. Max, without hesitation runs to the girl he likes to stare at and rips her work uniform open (which I’m convinced that the only reason for this was to show Shiri Appleby in a bra…as we see her in one three times in the pilot episode). He places his hand on her bleeding wound, tells her to look at him (seriously, she’s dying and you want to stare at her?), and heals her. He then pores ketchup all over her to mask the blood, and asks her not to say anything. He then runs off with his alien friend Michael. She later realizes that she has a silver hand print where he had healed her. Confuses about it all, the next time they see each other is in the biolab at school…where he is her partner. Ironic. Where they are taking samples of their own mouth cells to examine under a microscope. Max, not wanting to be exposed, runs off, but leave the pencil he had in his mouth behind. Liz swipes it and examines his cells. They look different than normal human cells. Side note here, his cells are green, why is it that the inside of his mouth is red like a normal human mouth if his cells are green? This is when Liz Parker starts to wonder about Max Evans, this sparks curiosity and infatuation.

Twilight is different in the fact that Bella is new to the town of Forks, Washington, so she meets Edward for the first time at school where she’s trying to fit in. She’s sitting at lunch engaged in awkward “new girl” conversation with her classmates when the Cullens walk in. They discuss how weird they are, and how they sometimes they just don’t show up. Then Edward walks in…and Bella Swan’s infatuation begins. He stares at her, and she stares at him. Then she notes his pale skin and his eyes and all that crap. And he stares at her some more. Later, Bella and Edward are set as biolab partners. Ironic. He continues to stare at her, but acts repulsed by her presence at the same time. This has something to do with her blood smelling good and not being able to read her mind…or something like that. Anyways a few days later, a van almost hits Bella, so Edward uses his vampire speed and strength to stop the van from killing her, leaving a huge dent in the vehicle. She immediately begins to wonder about Edward Cullan, and her infatuation for him grows.

Both girls meet their boys at school, both girls have their lives saved by their boys, both girls are biology partners with their boys, and both girls become infatuated by their boys the moment their lives are saved. This is how it happens in the real world, right? Meet, stare, almost die, be saved, fall in love. Right? Right.

The “What Are You?” Moment

In both Twilight and Roswell we have a moment where the girls confront the guys to find out what the is up with them. It’s where Liz and Bella finally question Max and Edward on their creepy powers and stuff. This happens differently in both stories, but the concept is the same. Both girls do some research, and come to a conclusion, then ask the boys about it.

In Roswell, Liz had done some research to try and figure Max out, this includes taking his cells and checking them out under a microscope, as we already mentioned. Once she’s sure that he’s different, she confronts him about it in a empty classroom. She tells him that she’s confused about how he healed her, why she has a silver hand print on her stomach, and why his cells are different. He says that he’s “Not from around here.”
“Where are you from,” Liz said.
Max takes his finger and points up.
Liz, thinking that this is all crazy says, “Up north?”
Max, without saying a word and continuing to stare at her, raises his finger a bit higher. Liz’s response to this…she glances up with a shocked look on her face. She then says that he’s not really an alien, and Max says, “I prefer the term ‘not of this earth’.” It was a lame attempt at humor.

After that he tells her that he, Michael, and his sister, Isabel are also aliens. That they don’t know where they are from, or why they are on Earth. They only know that their ship crashed in 1947, and that when they came out of the ship, they looked like six-year-old children. He also explains that they have powers, which includes changing the molecular structure of things, he proves this to Liz by passing his hand (which lights up) over a clay sculpture of some old guy and makes it look like just a lump of clay, then back again to the old man. He tells her that it was that power that he used to heal her. From that moment on, Liz is in on the little secret.

In Twilight, Bella does research to find out what the deal with Edward is, and she finds information about a local Native America tribe (More on that later) that is close by, which includes Jacob Black (who we later find out is the wolf of the story) about a legend of vampires. Edward takes Bella on a piggyback ride to the woods (there’s something about spider monkeys in there somewhere. Lame!) While in the woods, she confronts him. Piecing it all together, she is forced to believe the Edward is, in fact, a vampire. Leading to the famous line, “Say it out loud.”
“Vampire.” Stupid!

Edward then proves it to her by stepping into direct sunlight, causing his face to “sparkle like diamonds”. Good God in Heaven, how much I hate this one fact about Twilight! Anyway, I guess she then realizes that she’s in love with a vampire. From that moment on, Bella is in on the little Cullen secret.

The Voice of the Story

Roswell and Twilight both are in the point of view of the lead female protagonist. Mind you, I never read Twilight, but I am aware that it is in first person point of view. But I’m comparing Roswell to the Twilight movies, and in the movie, it starts out with Bella narrating, and telling her story. In Roswell, Liz is also narrating and telling her story. The only difference is that Bella is simply narrating (like I said, I never read the book, so I don’t know if she’s writing in a diary or not), whereas in Roswell, Liz is writing in her journal. They show her doing this (with a voice over so you know what she is writing) before each episode of the show. Like I said before, this changes after the first season, except for a few episodes, but for the most part the whole story is taken from her point of view. So, as we can see, they take on the same style of point of view. The girls narrating their stories as they fall in creepy, unhealthy love with the guys.

The Setting of the Story

Both stories take place in different areas. Roswell takes place in Roswell, New Mexico and surrounding areas, and Twilight takes place in Forks, Washington and surrounding areas. Despite the fact that both stories take place in different places and environmentally different areas, the settings are very similar.

Roswell is in the middle of the hot desert surrounded by a whole lot of nothing, and Forks is in the middle of the woods, surrounded by a whole lot of mountains. You might think, that’s not the same. Well, yes it is. Both are rural areas surrounded by a whole lot of nothing, and both have a beauty all their own. And the similar settings becomes even more apparent when you throw the Native Americans into the mix!

In Roswell, the aliens have to keep returning to a reservation of the Mesaliko tribe, as they seem to have a lot of information about aliens. Because Max and his friends don’t know much about themselves, they go to the reservation. The Mesaliko people have ways of knowing whether or not a person is an alien, as well as knowing ways to heal aliens if they get sick. Throughout the show’s first season, the Mesaliko tribe helps them along. Supplying for the aliens some of their language and some of their history. A character introduced a bit later in the first season called Nasedo befriended one of the tribe members by the name of River Dog. Nasedo can shape shift (more on that later) and we find out that he is the protector of the Royal Four (Max, Isabel, Michael, and Tess…a character introduced around the same time Nasedo is). The Native American tribe is quite important to the story of Roswell.

In Twilight, Forks is close to a tribe of Native Americans as well, the Quileute people. This tribe of Native Americans are where Bella gets some of her information about the vampires. The character of Jacob Black ends up (in another movie) filling Bella in that his tribe has shape shifters who turn into wolves when they get pissed. The Quileute tribe and the vampires hate each other and are normally at war, but the Cullen coven and the Quileute people have a truce going on that they stay out of each others way. This Native American tribe is also quite important to the story of Twilight, as Bella has to choose between Edward or Jacob. Team Harry Potter!

The Origins

Both Twilight and Roswell are based on novels. This is well known for Twilight, but since I’m reviewing the movie and the TV show, and since it’s a comparison review, I need to talk about this. Let’s start with Twilight as it is the more well known.

Twilight is based on a book of the same title that was written by Stephenie Meyer and was published in 2005 by Little, Brown Books. I have heard from friends who have read the book and seen the movie that the movie is pretty darn close to the book. Not exactly, because all movies that are based off of books need to add things for cinematic display, and take things away or speed things up for the sake of time.

Roswell is based off of a series of books called, “Roswell High” written by Melinda Metz and was published by Pocket Books. The first book in the series “The Outsider” was published in 1998. I’ve never read these books, nor do I know anyone who did. But from what I can find from online research is that the books and the show are similar in story, setting, and characters, but with a some of differences such as last names, and the looks of the characters.

Now another difference between Twilight and Roswell is that Twilight is three movies (at the time I wrote this review, Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse had come out with Braking Dawn Parts 1 and 2 in production), where as Roswell is a three season TV show. Roswell had 61 hour-long episodes, and Twilight had only three two-hour movies to tell the story in. So Roswell has a lot more time to tell its story, so stuff happens faster in Twilight then they do in Roswell. For example, it seems that by the middle of the movie Twilight, Bella and Edward are together. In Roswell, though the attraction is there right away, Liz and Max don’t get together until the ninth or tenth episode. Many weeks (story wise) after they meet and all that. I’m assuming that in the book, Edward and Bella fall for each other much slower, but I don’t know that for sure. In the movie it’s kind of rushed, but like I said that’s because they only had three two-hour slots in which to tell their story, they have to rush it.

The Fight For Love

In Twilight, Bella Swan has to deal the with issue of having two guys after her. One of these fellows is a creepy stalker of sparkley goodness, and the other is a long haired wannabe jock who later turns into a wolf because the plot deems it so. Both boys want this girl. Why they would want a bland seventeen-year-old with absolutely no personality and who doesn’t truly care about anybody around her as long as the vampire stares at her some more? I don’t know. It seems like there are better girls out there for these guys, but hey, who am I to talk. I’m not a charming essence smelling vampire or a ripped wolf who is “hotter than the competition”.

In Roswell, Liz Parker also has to deal with the ever growing problem of two guys after one girl syndrome. But in Roswell’s case, one is a creepy, bland alien who cannot raise his voice for anything, and the other is a normal human being ex-boyfriend jock who’s name is Kyle, who later becomes a Buddhist…for some reason. Again, both boys want a sixteen-year-old girl who is kind of attractive, (but is beaten by the very presence of Katherine Heigl), who has no personality, and also doesn’t really care about other people so long as she can get flashy kisses from the alien. Again, these guys can do better, in fact, Max tries to do better, but after knocking up Tess, he just wants to go back to Liz. Weird. Not that Tess was good either, she turned out to be a traitor and killed off Alex, played by Colin Hanks. Easily one of the best characters in the show!

Needless to say, these two sets of rival guys end up fighting over who gets the girl. And it seems that both girls tend to lean towards the one that is more abusive. Liz leans towards Max, who is creepy, and keeps breaking her heart every other episode for one reason or the other. And Bella leans towards Edward who is creepy, and keeps teasing her emotions to the point where I’m surprised she didn’t take a gun to her temple already. This guy vs. guy thing also causes problems for each other, such as yelling at each other, nearly hitting each other, and having “I’m a bigger jerk than you” contests. Both guys are not good for the girl, nor is the girl right for the guys. But unlike Twilight, after a while, Kyle gets the hint and backs off. Jacob never stops! This is nothing more then a way to get more teen drama into the story, exactly what the doctor ordered.

Crack? No Thanks, I Have Edward!

What’s better than drugs? Boys of course! Didn’t you know that any good looking freak can give you a better high than any drug in existence? Neither did I, until I saw Roswell and Twilight. Okay, seriously? Seriously?! Liz and Bella become addicted to Max and Edward’s presence? When the guys are not there they think about them, wish they were there, and even freak out a bit. And I don’t mean when they’re simply out of town, I mean any time they are not near them they freak out! Okay, so they don’t flip out like a crazy person, but they do seem to have a strange addiction to their guys. Why is that? Is that apart of the magic of vampires and aliens. They become attached to one person, and that person is screwed because they dared to cross paths with them?

After Liz and Max become an item, and they start making out all the time, Liz receives flashes of Max’s life and different astronomical events like star fields, planets, and black holes. This began when he healed her, he saw some of her early life. It’s like some alien mind connection thing. Anyway, once Liz starts getting these flashes she seems to only want to do one thing, be with Max. And when she’s not, she’s does nothing but pout about it. And God forbid he breaks up with her! It’s a teen drama set in the early 2000’s, what else would happen? She wants to do nothing more then to get her beloved alien back.

After Bella and Edward become an item, she also seems to fall victim to the metaphorical heroin. She soon doesn’t ever want to be away from him. They fix this by him literally appearing in her room all the time. I don’t even what to know what they do there. We know they don’t have sex, because Edward is a Christian vampire…I think. We know this because in the third movie of the Twilight Saga, Eclipse, she wants to have sex with him, but he refuses because he’s “old fashion”. Kudos on keeping it in your pants, Edward; that’s one up you have on Maxwell, the Alien Whore!

That reminds me, both girls keep pressuring they’re guys for sex! What’s the deal with that?

Anyway, in the second movie of Twilight Saga, New Moon, Edward leaves town because he thinks it’s too dangerous for Bella if he stays. Bella flips out, she throws herself into dangerous and high adrenalin situations because when she does she has visions of him…or something like that. So to see him, she tries to kill herself. Jacob (the wolf) uses this vampire free time to snag her and try to build a relationship with her. This is when the true two guy wanting the one girl truly begins. Let me reiterate my view in all of this: Team Harry Potter!

Edward Hair…Seriously?

Okay, for anyone who has seen Twilight, or has seen pictures of Edward Cullen in Twilight, you’ve seen his hair. Kind of crazy and messy looking, the whole nine yards, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Accept for that it’s in Roswell too. Sure, you can claim it as just a style, but I’m counting it and a similarity in the comparison review! In the first season, the character of Michael, who is also an alien, and best friend to Max has the same hair style as Edward. Compare these two pictures for yourself and tell me that they do not look alike!

Come on people, these are the same!

‘Cause This is Killer

In the first season of Roswell, we find out that over the decades since 1947 (when the ship crashed), there have been people who mysteriously died; random people with no connection. The only link is a silver hand print on their bodies that only lasted for a day or two before fading. A hand print that is very similar to the one Liz had after Max healed her. The aliens deduce that there is a forth out there and he is killing a lot of people (this is before they meet the other member of the Royal Four, Tess). We later find out that it’s Nasedo, the shape shifter. Nasedo is killing people then assuming their identity. At one point, Nasedo assumes Max’s identity (he doesn’t have to kill people to take their identity…but he does most of the time). He then uses Liz’s love for Max as a tool to lure her out. Nasedo then uses her has bait to catch and kill a alien hunter that have been chasing him. He pretty much tells her after she figures out that he is not Max that he is going to kill her, or wouldn’t care if the hunter kills her. Anyway, Max ends up saving the day, and Nesado eventually joins them on their quest to get home to their planet.

Granted, the way this happens in Twilight is vastly different. But it seems that there are always other vampires coming to Forks or nearby towns and feeding on people. The series of murders are questioned but really pursued, just like in Roswell. Also, at one point a vampire named Victoria goes after Bella to kill her because her vampire boyfriend wanted to drink Bella’s blood but to stop him, Edward killed him…or something like that. So she wants revenge on Edward by killed Bella.

Both the TV show of Roswell and the Twilight movies have a killer (or killers) on the loose whom the protagonists are worried about, and seem to drive the point that there are, in fact more of them more aliens and more vampires.

We Can’t Be Together

One of the most annoying things about Twilight is the sexual tension between Bella and Edward. This also includes the burning desire to be together, but because he is a vampire and she is a human, they can’t. He’s afraid that she will be in danger and he’s also afraid to hurt her. This creates the “I love you, but we can’t be together” cliché. Bella, because of her odd obsession with Edward, wants nothing more than to be with him always, and later, she expresses a desire to become a vampire and live forever with him. It starts out that she wants to know more about him, but he doesn’t tell. She wants to be with him, but it’s too dangerous because he may have no control over his blood hunger. She doesn’t care and wants nothing more than to be with him again. Then there’s the whole:
Bella: “Turn me.”
Edward: “No. Marry me.”
Bella: “Not unless you turn me.”
Edward: “I won’t turn you unless you marry me.”
Then, not to mention this great series of events:
Bella: “Let’s have sex.”
Edward: “No. Marry me.”
Bella: “Not unless you turn me…or have sex with me.”
Edward: “No, I’m old fashion. I’ll turn you if you marry me.”
Bella: “Okay.”
Stupid! Seriously, this “tension” is really crappy! It gets annoying with how much they’re “together”, but still can’t be together!

This cliché is just as annoying in Roswell, it may even be worse because there’s more of it to watch. Again, there is an immediate sexual tension between Maxwell and Liz. The moment he heals her, she wants to do nothing but sex the guy up. But, he’s an alien and she’s a human. He’s afraid that it will be too dangerous for them to be together, do to how many people hunt aliens in this show. But, like most teenagers in these supernatural dramas, they give in to their passion. This is when they start to make out…a lot. I mean, half of these hour-long episodes are dedicated to showing us how much Max and Liz make out. But they’re not the only ones, we get to see Michael and Maria make out as well for half of the show as well. Fun!

As I mentioned before, Liz and Max discover that when they kiss, they will see flashes of each others lives, this brings privacy to a whole new level. There’s even an episode where Liz has a sexual fantasy of Max seeing her naked in the shower—Okay, lets just stop there for a moment! Seriously, do girls have fantasies of guys seeing them naked in the shower? Isn’t it the other way around? Anyway, Max later reveals that one time during their hour long make out session in The Eraser Room—Yep, Roswell High has a popular spot in the school called The Eraser Room where students go to make out and have sex. Why doesn’t the faculty do something about this? They know it’s there, the principal even mentions it some parents in one episode—that Max saw her sexual fantasy. Weird! This gets so crazy that soon, the harder they make out, the more flashes they see, to the point of addiction. This is because Liz and Max see his ship crashing, and crazy stuff like that. Towards the end of the episode, they are about to have sex to see “what happens, and what they can discover about Max’s home”. They stop soon after because they discover an orb thing from the alien’s home world. After that, the “drive” is gone, and they cool down. Literally, it’s like alien fate forced them to make out so much so they could find the orb. Pathetic!
But they also undergo the whole, “we can’t be together” thing as well. It goes kind of like this:
Liz wants to be with Max, and Max wants to be with Liz, but she has a boyfriend, Kyle.
Liz dumps Kyle to be with the alien.
Max and Liz want to be together, but it’s too dangerous.
Liz and Max give into the lust!
Max breaks up with Liz for “noble” reasons.
They soon gives back into the lust!
Liz realizes that Max has a “destiny” to be with his alien bride from the past, Tess, so she breaks up with him.
Max wants Liz back, and Liz wants him back, but won’t admit it.
Max gives up on Liz and sleeps with Tess, and knocks her up with alien sex!
Blah, blah, blah.
Max and Liz get back together, but he has a son out there somewhere.
Stupid! Seriously, the whole “we can’t be together” thing only lasts a little while, then they’re together, only to be broken up, and brought back to gather a bunch of times. What the crap!
As you can see…Roswell is worse than Twilight in that regard, but Twilight still has more stupid lines!

Awkward Levels Rising

I’m not going to spend long on this one, it’s very simple. Both Twilight and Roswell have moments of extreme awkwardness where you want to do anything but watch it because it’s almost painful! Again, Roswell has more simply because it’s longer, and more story to tell. But most of the first season is made up of questions immediately followed by silence and Max staring at Liz, it’s very awkward. The same with Twilight, Bella will ask a question followed by a very long stare. Awkward! Awkward, I say. How many conversations do you have with people when you ask them something and they just stare at you, not in confusion or anything like that, but a plain faced stare? Twilight and Roswell dialogue is very awkward at times! Enough said, lets’ move on, shall we?

Alien Council vs. Vampire Council

In Twilight there is a council of vampires called the Volturi, whom I like to call the Vampire Vatican, because they live in Italy and rule the vampires. So this Vampire Vatican is a group of very old vamps who are sticklers about vampire rules…or something like that, I don’t really know. But they are kind of like vampire royalty. Edward and Bella have to go there at some point and meet with them (I know about the whole killing himself thing, but I’m not getting into that). Anyway, the Vampire Vatican realize that Bella isn’t a vampire, and they give her the choice, become a blood-sucker, or die. Edward makes a deal with them, that after Bella graduates high school, Edward will turn her.

Roswell also has a counsel of royalty, the difference is, they don’t like each other. Max’s planet is at war with four other planets in the area. It all started with a coup when the Royal Four (Max, Tess, Michael, and Isabel) are killed, and a guy named Kivar takes over. The Royal Four’s DNA was mix with human DNA then cloned, and sent to Earth to be kept safe until they are ready to reclaim the throne. So Max, being the king of his planet, has to meet with Kivar and the other four kings (of their own planets) to make a deal, they do this on Earth in a old warehouse. The deal never goes though, and war continues.
So in both shows we have a royal council, and our protagonist tries to deal with them.

Powers All Our Own

I thought to myself, we’re done, there can no more similarities, but alas, I was wrong! Both Roswell and Twilight have people who have powers that no other character has. You might be thinking as I did, “Twilight is about vampires, why would they have personal powers?”, but you would be wrong. Not only do the vamps have the normal vampire abilities, but they also get something a little extra that is different depending on who the vamp is.

Here is what I mean, as Twilight vampires, they all are faster and stronger than humans, they all drink blood and have a blood lust, they all are practically invincible, all naturally good looking (what if the bite an ugly guy?), and they all sparkle in the sunlight (I can’t speak for the books, but in the movie, the only vampire I ever saw sparkle was Edward, maybe that’s another personal power). However, each vampire can do something extra. Here is a small list of what some of them can do:

  • Edward – Mind reading, he can read the minds of anyone within a few miles of himself. The exception is Bella for some reason that is most likely bull crap!
  • Alice (Edward’s “sister”) – Precognition, she can see the future, but only once a plan is set, so if you make a rash decision, see wont see it. But I saw in the movies Bella and Edward planning to make a spur of the moment decision, how did Alice not see that? They planed not to plan!
  • Jasper (Edward’s “brother) – Empathy, he can feel other people’s emotions, and control them.
  • Jane (Some chick at the Vampire Vatican) – Pain, she can make people feel pain by simply willing it.
  • Carlisle (Edward’s “dad”, and is the only vampire in these movies that I like, he’s kind of cool) – His special ability is…compassion? LAME! He can resist the blood lust, and when he bites people he doesn’t want to drink all their blood. That’s compassion?! I looked it up, and the only ability I can find for him is friggen compassion! LAME! Give the guy a REAL power! Make him fly or something, now THAT would be sweet!

In Roswell, we have the same thing, the aliens have personal powers. They all have the same alien abilities, they all can manipulate molecular structures (change ketchup into mustard, stuff like that), and they all have telekinetic abilities (to a degree, it’s not like the Force from Star Wars, it’s used more in a pushing matter, move people away, slam doors, stuff like that), but they all can do this, what can each of the Royal Four do? I’ll tell ya:

  • Max – Healing, he can heal people, this often leaves a silver hand print behind. He can cure minor cuts and bruises to gunshot wounds, and even cancer (there’s an episode where he cures an entire children’s cancer ward in a hospital). The bigger the wound or illness, the more strength it takes for him to heal them, and it will leave him weak for a while. He also gains the ability to make a green shield to protect himself and others from alien and human harm.
  • Isabel – Dream walking, she can enter someone’s dreams. If she concentrates on someone’s photo, or knows them well enough, she can fall asleep and enter their dreams. She can either be a silent observer, or she can contact the dreamer through the dream. We often see her do this for entertainment purposes. Someone say creeper? However, I would not object to Katherine Heigl invading my dreams!
  • Michael – Explosive, he can blow stuff up. Michael does not have as much control over his alien abilities as the other three, this makes using his powers somewhat dangerous. However, with focus, he finds that he’s good and making stuff explode.
  • Tess – Mind warping, she can manipulate people’s minds. She can make them see things that aren’t there, or mask their presence from others, as well as brainwash people into thinking something different. If she brainwashes someone, it has a chance to wear off. We see this when Kyle as well as Maria’s mom start tapping their fingers all the time and start seeing and saying things that have to do with the brainwash. This is the episode where we find out that Tess killed Alex.

So, in both shows the main characters have special abilities all their own.

In Conclusion

So as you can see, Twilight and Roswell are very similar in many ways. I do not think that Stephenie Meyer stole the idea or anything like that, but I do wonder if some of the inspiration for Twilight came from Roswell, because when you directly compare them, the two are very close. Both Twilight and Roswell are not very good. They’re characters are bland and boring, and their plots are just stupid. And though I like Roswell better, I have to admit that it is still no good!

I might add more to this review when the new Twilight movies come out, there may be more stuff that is similar!

And remember, Team Harry Potter!

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Twilight Vs. Roswell


Twilight and Roswell

Twilight Vs. Roswell: A Comparison Review

By Andrew Ronzino

We all know about the Twilight craze. In 2005 Stephenie Meyer wrote a mediocre novel about a sparkling vampire, and teenage girl’s obsession with said vampire; now, Twilight is a huge sensation. However, what most people don’t know about is that in 1999 there was a TV show that aired on the WB called Roswell. Now when you compare the three season TV show with Twilight, you will find that they are extremely similar. And it makes me wonder if Stephenie Meyer got her inspiration from the show. I would like to show the similarities between these two stories.

Let me start off by saying that I have never read the Twilight novels, I will be basing this comparison from the movies, which I have been told are fairly accurate to the books. Also, I have a nostalgic connection to Roswell, as I watched it when I was a teenager. I have no meaningful connection to Twilight whatsoever, so if I seem bias, that’s because I am. Also, let me just come right out and make myself perfectly clear, I hate Twilight, I think it’s stupid. However, because this is a comparison review that really doesn’t matter. One last thing before we begin, the stories aren’t exactly the same, there are a lot of differences. The plots, for example, are very different. But where they’re similar, they’re VERY similar! Also, you may hear some stuff repeated over and over again, that’s because these things keep happening over and over again!

Just so you know, this entire review contains spoilers.

Let us begin. And we shall do so by examining our main characters.

Liz Parker and Bella Swan

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