A shift is needed…


Good evening!  Today was an okay day of writing, but the scenes I worte were a little difficult.  I don’t know if it was the scenes themselves, or I just couldn’t get my head in the game.  With some effort, I was able to push through it and get those words written.

Tonight, I would like to share with you a small excerpt of my novel so far.  I know I haven’t given away anything about the characters yet, but that will come in future post.  Now, this novel is the roughest of rough drafts, so please keep that in mind.  It’s what I like to call a “vomit draft”, it’s literally just thrown up onto the page, intended to be properly edited later.  The point of NaNoWriMo is write a minimum of 50,000 words in 30 days.  Because of that, the story is being written very fast with (next to) no editing.  The only editing I’ve done to this excerpt is enough to make it readable for you.

So, without further ado, here is the first excerpt.  Please enjoy, and let me know what you think of it!

Being a vampire sucks, and not for the reasons you might think it does.  Sure, being a blood sucking monster dammed to the night is awful, and yes, not being able to eat my favorite Italian dishes is not cool, and of course hanging out at the beach is no longer an option.  No, it sucks because I’m poor, and have no way of generating an income when I’m a friggen vampire!

I read books, I’ve seen movies, and comics, television shows and posters.  Unless their inhuman monsters like in 30 Days of Night, or something like that, vampires are always depicted as suave, debonair, seductive masters of the night who drink fine wine, dress in expensive clothing, and live in massive houses or castles.

Nothing can be far from the truth, well at least for me.  I’m a vampire and I live in a decrepit one room, one bath apartment on the fourth floor and a dingy complex in one of the worst parts of the city.  Rent is fairly low, but too high for me.  My energy bill is through the roof, and do even get me started on my water bill.  Geeze, you’d think there’s no oceans or something.

Needless to say I hate being a vampire.  There are perks, but the downfalls are too much sometimes.  Unfortunately, there’s literally nothing I can do about it.  I’m stuck the way I am, and it seems like nothing in my life is about to change.  Things changed a little, but after everything was all said and done, not too much had changed at all.  And none of that minimalist change would never have happened if I didn’t go to the bar that one night.

I went to the Red Room Pub, one of my favorite places.  It was dark, warm, and served good beer.  Not that tap crap, real draft beer.  I don’t drink the draft beers, I drink the tap crap, and it’s cheaper and burns less of a hole in my pocket.  The Red Room also has a lot of dark corners.  I’m not one of those seen emo vampires, but I still prefer dark corners.  No one bothers when you sit alone in the dark, nursing a glass of PBR, people tend to leave the pale guy alone.

But this night, this really bad night, I needed something a little nicer than PBR, so I walked into the pub and stepped up to the counter.

“Evening, Matt,” William the Barman said a nod.  “What’ll it be tonight?”

I slapped a ten on the counter and said, “Whatever this will get me, Will.”

Will glanced at the note and nodded.  He grabbed a brown bottle with a yellow label and handed it to me with a glass.  “Now this microbrew was created by two brothers several years back—”

“Yeah, I don’t care.  Thanks, Will.”  It was true, I didn’t care.  Will cared a lot and was always ready to talk craft beers with anyone and their mother who would listen.  I, however, just wanted to drink it and maybe grab a bite to eat later on.  I wanted to wallow in my self-pity and think about where I would be had I never been turned.

I had just reached my preferred table in the dark corner and was about to open my Whatever This Ten Dollar Beer is Called and have a seat to scope out the menu when someone calling my name caught my attention.

“Matt?  Matt Donavan?”

I sighed.  No one in this bar knew my last name, which meant whoever was calling my name knew me from somewhere else.  Maybe from one of my several dozen night jobs I’ve had over the last few years.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to drink my Yellow Label Beer and have a blood chaser.  Is that too much to ask?

I glanced up to see a fellow walking over to me.  He was a tall, muscular man with brown hair poking out from under his ball cap.  He looked familiar, but it wasn’t until he got closer that it clicked.


He nodded.  “Yeah, man.  It’s been a long time, I haven’t seen you since we started college, where’ve ya been?”

I shrugged.  “Trying to survive.  It’s been, what?  Seven years?”

Small talk is not my forte, and making it sound like I wasn’t sure of how long it had been was my way of acting casual.  I don’t like talking to people from my past, it brings up too many memories and too many questions.  I knew that it was, in fact, seven years since I last saw Jordan Polanski.

“Yeah, it seems like yesterday we were graduating.”

“High school was a long time ago.”

“So what happened to you?  You were enrolled at the University of Mchigan with us, and the next thing I know you went AWOL.”

“You know how I was back in school, Jordy, I’m not much for tests and education.”

Jordan sat down and sipped his Bud Lite.  “Your grades weren’t that bad, were they?”

I shrugged.  “I had some things come up, I had to drop out.”

Jordan looked me deep in the eyes.  “You don’t look good, are you alright?”

I hated that question, and everyone asked it.  What am I going to say?  “Oh yes, I’m fine, I’m just a vampire, so my pale skin is normal”?

“I’m fine, I don’t get much sun,” I said.  It was only a little less lame than what I should have said.

“Nah, man, that’s obvious.  You look depressed, I mean.”

I don’t know if “depressed” was the correct word, sure I was down on my luck, and of course I wasn’t happy, but I don’t think I was depressed, at least, not in the take-some-Prozac kind of a way.  I don’t even know if Prozac would work on a vampire, Tylenol certainly didn’t.

I decided to be truthful with Jordan.  “I lost my job tonight, I’m alright though.  I’ll look for a new one when I get home.”

-Excerpt from Struggles of a Modern Vampire; Chapter 1, by Andrew Ronzino

There you go, I hope you enjoyed that.

Current word count for Struggles of a Modern Vampire: 13,534/50,000!

Until tomorrow,

Andrew Ronzino, Master of the Hamsterdance


Comments on: "NaNoWriMo Day 4: The First Excerpt" (5)

  1. […] far, I’ve shared with you the plot of the story, and gave you an excerpt.  But now, I’m going to share some information about the main character to this year’s […]

  2. […] I want share another excerpt with you.  I’ve already shared a first one, so this is the second one.  This one features the previously mentioned Werp character.  This was […]

  3. […] you would like to go back and read the first two I’ve shared this month, the first one is here, and the second one is […]

  4. […] to this point in this journal, I’ve shared the plot of the story, and gave you the first, second, and third excerpts.  However, I have yet to tell you of my secondary main character; […]

  5. […] Except one, excerpt two, and excerpt three. […]

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