A shift is needed…

NaNoWriMo Jounrnal 2015

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t do NaNoWriMo to reach 50,000 words and stop.  I go until the novel is done.  To me, the challenge is to write a full novel in 30 days.  As in, a complete, but (very) rough draft.  As in, a beginning, a middle, and an end.

As of tonight, I am at 70,000 words!  However, as I look at the date, look at my manuscript, and look at my timeline of events (which is vague towards the end), I’m starting to worry that I may not finish this one on time.

I avoided a friend’s birthday party to stay home and write tonight.  I feel terrible about it.  I’ve cut back on almost all my time with my friends and church volunteering for this challenge, and I almost feel like it’s not enough.  This novel I started to write might be a little too much.  I think I may have bit off more than I can chew.  I’m afraid I’m avoiding my friends only to have this end as a failure.

To the friends I’m ignoring this year…I’m sorry.  I really am.  Can I stop here and start hanging out again?  Sure I can, but I will regret throwing in the towel as soon as it started looking harder.  I don’t want to fail.  I’m not giving up.  I’m going to do what I can to type “The End” by the 30th.

Yes, in the eyes of most people and NaNoWriMo’s 50k amount, I will have succeeded.  But unless I finish the novel, I won’t consider it a success.  It will be my first failure if I do.  I don’t want that to happen, so I will keep on writing.  It’s starting to take it’s toll on me.

I’m just being honest about how I think things are going.

To my friends who are probably frustrated and annoyed that I’m not hanging out or celebrating with them, I’m sorry.  As a victor or as a failure, you’ll see me in December, I promise.

Current word count for The Priest of Tears: 70,082/50,000!

Until I gain my confidence back,

Andrew Ronzino, Tired and Worried

P.S.  I can do this.

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Comments on: "NaNoWriMo Day 21: Starting to Worry" (1)

  1. […] of all, I want to thank everyone who gave me encouragement after yesterday’s post.  I needed it.  Thank […]

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