A shift is needed…

NaNoWriMo Jounrnal 2014

Today is Veteran’s Day, and I want to start off by saying thank you to all the men and woman who are serving in our armed forced, or if you’ve served in the past.  You are heroes fighting to keep this country safe.  God bless you all.

I’m not going to lie, I struggled to get something written today.  There were no distractions or anything, it was just hard to write.  I got some done, but not as much as I wanted to.

All that being said, I would like to share another excerpt with you.  So far, this is one of my favorite scenes in the story.  Again, please keep in mind that it’s a vomit draft.  Enjoy!

When she saw him, her blood ran cold. It was the one man she hated more than anyone else in the world. She knew his pale, smug face and his fiery red hair. It was the traitor, Dr. Jim Kleverland. The man who stole Sam and cut off Saul’s hand!

“You!” She screamed while trying to stand up, but with her legs chained, she couldn’t do it properly, and it hurt her, so she sat back down.

He had a sly smile on his face. Jill wanted to punch him. “Me,” he said. She hated his voice. She hated everything about Jim Kleverland.

“I hate you!”

“Oh, believe me, Jill, the feeling is mutual. Just clam down, this kind of blood pressure spike can’t be good for your health.”

“Like you care!”

“I do care, kid. I care more than you think I do.”

“Where’s Sam!”

“Right to the point and blunt as always, very well, we won’t dance around the subject. Sam is fine if not a little disobedient. As a matter of fact, that’s why you’re here.”

“What are you talkin’ about, Doc?”

Kleverland rolled his eyes. “Sam, Jill! I’m talking about Sam. We need him to fight for us in the Great War. We need to train him, but he’s refusing to learn from us.”

“Good!” Jill said.

“We’ve already started to replicate him. We’re far away from completing them, however. Once we train Sam, he can train the others. Then no one will be able to stop the German Empire.”

The way he said it was almost manic. Jill was worried. If they were already trying to make other True Automatons, then it really was only a matter of time before Germany became too powerful to stop. “What happened to you carin’ about people, Doc? I thought you liked to help people.”

Kleverland stepped closer to Jill. “I still do, kid. But this is the way to help people. You’re too young to understand that the world is broken, it’s sick and needs to be healed. I’ll do anything to help heal the world. The German Empire is the way to do that.”

She didn’t liked bringing talked down to. Telling her that she wouldn’t understand angerd her. She may have not known much about politics, but she did understand that what the Germans were doing wasn’t helping the world. “But people are dying! People are getting’ hurt. If you want to help the world, why are you helpin’ to hurt it?”

“A surgeon needs to cut in order to heal, Jill. Sometimes you need to take out what’s sick so that the body can fix itself. Sometimes you have to harm to heal. I won’t bore you with the politics behind it, but believe me when I say that this is the way to heal the world. We’re cutting out the sickness. With this surgery, the healing can begin for a prosperous world.”

Jill continued to glare at him. “Whatever, Doc, you keep tellin’ yourself that. You’re a traitor and thief!”

Kleverland’s face was starting to go red. “And you’re an insufferable brat!”

Jill laughed, “Wow, that’s all you got? I’ve heard worse insults from Matt the Rat on the streets, moron!”

Kleveland’s eyes widened, he opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say never came because he was cut off by the German guy.

“Doctor, we do not have all day,” he said.

Jill nodded, “Better listen to your master, Doc, he seems to know what’s best.”

“Shut up!” Kleverland yelled. “For once just keep your mouth closed!”

“I would, but you haven’t told me why you need me, and I’m gettin’ a little fidgety. That happens when I’m bored.” She was purposely trying to aggravate him. She knew that if she could keep him on edge, she had the control over the room. The only thing she was unsure of was the German man. She didn’t know who worked for whom. So, for now, she just worked on Kleverland, she knew how to get under his skin.

-Excerpt from True Automaton; Chapter 10, by Andrew Ronzino

If there are mistakes in there, please forgive me, it’s a quickly written vomit draft with only enough editing to make it presentable in this blog post.  Proper editing will come later.

I had so much fun writing this scene.  Both Jill and Jim like to be in control.  Whenever I write a scene with both of them in it, they both fight for dominance over the situation, to the point where you have to ask yourself, “which one is the 16-year-old again?”  Jill/Jim scenes are always a blast because Jill get’s on Kleverland’s nerves so much that he’ll lower himself to her level where she can jump all over him.  It’s a ton of fun to write and I hope I get to write more in the future.

Current word count for True Automaton: 33,024/50,000!

Until I write again,

Andrew Ronzino, the Man Behind the Legend Behind the Man


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