Tonight is a great night for you, my readers. Why? You ask why? Because you’re going to get treated with the second excerpt of Deus Ex Machina! The first excerpt showed a bit of Saul’s fears of flying, as well as a bit of the technology of the world. Tonight, I have another excerpt in Saul’s point of view (I have three view point characters for this novel, Saul, Xandria, and Tanya, but I’ll talk more about them another time). But I would like to explain it a bit before I show it to you.
In this scene, Saul, Xandria, and Tanya escaped an attack by some British thugs, and they’re at a hotel planning their next move. Saul and Xandria are taking care of their wounds in the bathroom. Saul and Xandria have been secretly in love with each other since they were kids, but both of them had assumed that the other didn’t have those romantic feelings, leading to a stalemate. Xandria eventually got married, but has been divorced for a year. Prior to this scene there had been scenes in which both Saul and Xandria’s point of view are showing how each of them felt about the other and how they wished there could be something more, but the other doesn’t feel the same way. So, in this scene, some heavy emotions come up, and Saul doesn’t understand that her regret is more about him.
Please remember that this is a vomit draft. It was written fast, and the only editing I’ve done to it was to clean it up so that it’s presentable to you here on The Paradigm. So please, don’t send me angry hate mail because of some errors. Thank you. Enjoy:
Saul looked at his reflection in the mirror, his eye was bruised and his face stung. Xandria was standing next to him rubbing her fist. Tanya was in the next room changing her clothing.
“Yep, this will be a good story for this kids,” Saul said. “How’s your hand?”
Xan smiled at him. “It’s sore, but it’ll be fine. You want to have kids?”
He looked at his eye again and started applying some ointment they bought at a store before they checked in. “Sure, why not? I gotta continue the family name somehow.” What he didn’t say is that he wouldn’t mind having children with her. She really was the only woman he could see himself marrying.
She shrugged and looked up at him with her beautiful blue-gray eyes. “I just never thought you would have wanted children.” She took the ointment from him and began rubbing it on her hand. “I wanted to have children, but Ken didn’t.”
Saul saw the hurt in her eyes.
She began to cry. “I feel like I wasted so much of my life.”
He reached for her and hugged her tightly. She sobbed into his shoulder and he let her. He felt his own heart breaking. He whispered into her ear, “Shh, Xan. We all make mistakes.”
She continued to sob. He knew it was all the years of lies, emotional abuse, and regret coming out. She claimed she was over it, but he saw now that she wasn’t. She was still in pain. All he wanted to do in that moment was tell her he loved her, but he couldn’t do that to her now, not when the pain of her husband’s betrayal was so fresh.
From his shoulder, he muffled voice came out. “My mistakes have hurt more than just me, Saul. It’s hurt you too. What have I done?”
Saul didn’t know what she meant by that, the only pain he felt from her divorce, other than the fact that he didn’t tell her how he felt about her, was the pain he felt when he saw how unhappy she was.
“Don’t worry about me, Xan. I’ll be fine, and so will you.” He pulled away from her, and she was looking down at the tile floor. “Look at me.” She looked up at him with her water-filled eyes. “You are not a failure. You may have made a mistake and wasted some time, but you are not a failure. You’re my best friend, and I will think any less of you because of what Ken has done to you.”
She wiped her tears away and wrapped her arms around him again. He held her there, wishing he could tell her what he wanted to tell her, but that would just cause her more pain, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. “Thank you, Saul.”
“For everything. For being the only solid, constant thing in my life.” She pulled away and chuckled. “I’ve ruined your shirt.” She tried to dab the tears away with a towel, but it dis no good.
“It’s just tears, your tears are welcome on my shirt any time. Besides, I very rarely see you cry, I consider it an honor.”
She laughed at that, then moved to the sink to wash her face. Saul took one last look at his eye, but it was just an excuse to look at her through the reflection. She turned to him and smiled once again. “Don’t tell anyone about the crying, I have an image to uphold.”
Saul chuckled. “Your secret is safe with me.”
-Excerpt from Deus Ex Machina; Chapter 15, by Andrew Ronzino
Current word count for Deus Ex Machina: 33,581/50,000!
Until tomorrow evening,
Andrew Ronzino, That Guy