Why does this exist? Toy-Box Tarzan & Jane Music Video?
So, as you surf the internet for Phil Collins music videos from Disney’s Tarzan. You stumble across a YouTube link that says “Toy-Box Tarzan & Jane”. Curiosity takes over and you click on the link. After it loads and you wait for the ad to stop (because YouTube does that now), you realized that you made a horrible mistake for not clicking the link that lead to You’ll Be in My Heart. Now, you must pay the price for it. Why? Because you see this:
After you come out of the bad music video induced coma (Yes, that is the proper medical term for it), you realize that you just lost a ton brain cells.
Why does this exist? Who green lighted a song and music video like this? Who was the person who said, “Yes. This is a good idea!”? When they were filming this, no one stopped to think about what they were doing? BECAUSE THEY SHOULD HAVE!
Toy-Box is a Danish pop group, and Tarzan & Jane is their first single (November, 1998). But if you really watch this video…it’s awful! The lyrics are bad, the singing is bad, and the sets are bad! The entire song is full of sexual innuendo, including Tarzan humping a…a…futuristic Triforce of Power? Honestly, I don’t know what that thing is. The whole song and video is about Tarzan and Jane (go figure). Weird Hair Jane is invited to a party at Tarzan’s tree house…then is ignored by him as he entertains jungle women…and that’s about it. Oh, and we learn that Tarzan is strong, handsome, and has long hair. The video also features guys dressed in crappy monkey outfits, dancing elephants, and half-naked people doing some kind of awful jungle jig! It hurts to watch. But when it’s all over, the damage is done. The tune is stuck in your head…for hours!
To make matters worse, this song is, in my opinion, just a rip off of the jungle theme, random words for lyrics, and “band name presents” opening from Aqua’s song Dr. Jones (October, 1997). Which, again, in my opinion, is a much better song! Not familiar with Aqua? I’m sure you are without even realizing it. Ever hear that strange, smash hit song Barbie Girl? “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world….” Yeah, that’s Aqua (another Danish group). They were much more successful, and put out a lot of other popular songs; including, Lollipop (Candyman), Around the World, My Mamma Said, and Roses Are Red. Toy-Box is similar to Aqua in the sense of they write strange songs that get stuck in your head and never leave. The difference is…Aqua writes better songs and film better music videos. Note, I did not say good…I said better, as in better than Toy-Box. Not to mention that Aqua put out some more serious music. I mean, I think Around the World, and My Mamma Said are pretty good. But Toy-Box’s Tarzan & Jane just flat out sucks.
I say that music is personal taste. If you think Toy-Box is good, that’s fine. I won’t argue that with you. I’ll disagree, but I won’t argue. However, this music video is just awful! To think people spent money to make this is disgusting, I don’t care if it happened in Denmark! An awful music video, in any country, is still an awful music video! (No offense to the people of Denmark)
I say this song is on par with Rebecca Black’s Friday. Well, on par with the fact that they’re both terrible songs that never should have been released and get stuck in your head. The only credit I do give Friday is that it’s too much fun to mock to deem it a complete waste of time. I can’t say the same for Tarzan & Jane.
So tell me, why does this exist? Because, I sure as heck can’t.
P.S. By the way, since today is a Friday…”It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend!”
Now, I have to make the most difficult choice I’ll ever have to make in my entire life. Whether to sit in the front seat or the back seat!
“Partyin’ partyin’, yeah! Fun, fun, fun, fun, lookin’ forward to the weekend!”
Don’t forget to check out the last Why Does This Exist?: Magazine Bibles